60r3d0m:

despite its shortcomings, god, i really loved this episode. it was so very much about family, but also in the context of dean and cas, i just wanna ramble about a few things that i found super interesting!!

the fact that dean and cas were literally attached at the hip this whole episode—i know we made jokes about it, but in all seriousness, whenever they were in the same room together, they were acting like a goddamn couple. but what i found most poignant about it all was how jarred i was by their actions and their intimacy, because i felt that their closeness seemed to move up a level, or at least, in some way, more than what we’re used to seeing.

there were familiar movements, like dean seeking reassurance from cas through touch, nudging cas’ arm when jack thought himself cured. and when we saw dean and cas stand next to each other, how they stood together—that same familiarity. but something that i found new, something that changed the boundaries of their relationship today, was dean’s body language. in the midst of receiving bad news, dean didn’t just stand there beside cas. dean moved behind him, into this space that otherwise would have left cas vulnerable, in such an instinctive and protective gesture—one that frankly threw me off balance because of how intimate it was.

and there was just so much about letting down one’s walls in this episode. so much about dean letting himself feel, letting himself love, and i really, really loved how i could see that process visually here. that i could see dean doing what jack implied that he needed—about living life—and that i could see dean leaning on cas as they both went through this harrowing experience of trying to help a child that maybe couldn’t be helped, where nothing could be done. and then that other visual, of their hands side by side, just barely touching, but closer than ever before, as if to signal to us that something’s changed.